In one of my fitness groups on Facebook, someone posed a question.
So what’s keeping you from starting?
It’s a really big question because you have to be completely honest with yourself. Below is part of my response…
“My relationship with myself. Thinking I am not worth it. Not truly believing I can lose the wieght. And then turning to the emotional eating when my father and the guy who I considered my 2nd dad passed away. Having ankle surgery that made a profound negative impact on me losing weight because I gained everything I lost plus losing all the muscle and all the cardio I could do prior to it.
When you’ve been overweight for so long you become comfortable, not necessarily complacent because none of us REALLY want to be here. But its the changes that also scare me. How people will perceive me. How mad and upset I’ll be when I get treated better when I lose the weight because then I will ask myself, why wasn’t I good enough before.
I am seeking professional therapy to address the self worth issue. But for me I guess that is the root. As silly or crazy [as it sounds], when you are beaten down by other people and yourself for so long, you start believing you can’t do it or aren’t worth it.
But I hit rock bottom. I have been emotionally eating for the past two months and today,for the first time ever, I had to get a seat belt extender for the airplane. I literally wanted to cry when I asked for it. So, it’s making a conscious decision to just go through the motions of going to the gym and eating better (most of the time). And not beat myself up over if I have cheerios instead of egg whites or having a beer instead of seltzer water with lime.”
What a lot of people don’t understand is the mental aspect of losing significant amount of weight. Because you do question, “why wasn’t I worth it before?” “why am I a better person now that I have lost the weight?” “Can I really do it?” The inner struggle with yourself is huge. I am self aware enough that I am seeking professional help during this time of immense change. I have to be forgiving of myself and and be okay with the choices I make. Even if they aren’t the best ones.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
I know I have to start changing my beliefs. Start believing in myself. In that I can achieve my goals and not be ashamed of them either. I know I already posted Hailee Steinfield’s song – Love Myself, but I really need to listen to this and Rachel Platten’s Fight Song. Both are strong messages of believing in yourself and to fight for what you want.
Keep on killing those calories…